WORDS WRITTEN TO MY WIFE AFTER WORKING OUTDOORS IN WINTER

Pic-Services-ForestryIcyLimbOnRoad
in 1994, for Carol

1

A river of blood runs under the bridge of the rib cage
and I have come home with a cracked tooth
the pain like a soft flickering of lightning.
See the new moon hung in frost broken limbs of our maple tree.
I want to lay my face against the moon, calling, “Carol, Carol…”
a light coming on gradually inside this leather box
I call myself.

2

I am a working man behind on his payments.
Loans taken out in another life eat my liver like a crow.
I can’t afford these words I am saying.
Can’t afford the assurance of men who walk in straight lines
or of those who follow their own desires
toward unimagined pleasure or pain.

3

You tell me the way to heal is
first find the wound.
Go to it tenderly as you would a woman.
Stay with her, giving only what you are to what you are.
Nothing stays the same, you say.
Even pain will finally move toward itself.
When self meets self, there is an end
to it.

4

But I say, let the good God of children draw his sword across my throat!
Let all words bleed away.
I hold up empty hands asking you to make them
emptier.

.

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9 thoughts on “WORDS WRITTEN TO MY WIFE AFTER WORKING OUTDOORS IN WINTER

      • Don, I’m a failed Texan but a Texan none the less. Plus I’m old. To an old Texan, “twitter” is something little birds do in the cactus trees. But I’m glad you’re on it and I’m glad we crossed paths. We have a friend from S Africa who lives near us in the Pacific NW, USA. Recently saw the documentary, Searching For Sugarman, and the movie, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom. Found both very moving. Wish we had another Nelson Mandela right now, millions of him. Another Sixto Rodriguez wouldn’t hurt either. What a beautiful place you come from, Don. Best wishes for your writing. Have enjoyed what I’ve read so far. Can see the fun you have with language.

      • Hey Charlie! What do u mean you are old? Shame on you for accepting it ._. If you would which age would you want to return to right now? Thanks for the kind words and you should read Long Walk to Freedom I find reading much more engaging than any film version. I grew up in the last two decades of Apartheid and my poetry reflect that. If you have time check out my words and share with friends or acquintances if you wish. God bless and take care https://soundcloud.com/you/sets

      • I will read Long Walk To Freedom. Like you, I have seen few movies that approached the greatness of the book. The Godfather 1 and 2 being exceptions. I have read your recent trilogy and will read again. As before, I enjoy your playful enjoyment of language. You might want to check out my son’s website, Eli Hopkins. He is about your own age and a good writer of fiction. Has a number of novels that he is trying to find a publisher for. As for being old, I not only accept it, I am supremely happy and glad for it! This is the best time of my life. I experience love, joy and peace I never dreamed I would have. Would you be open to the occasional email? Where are you living now? I am sure that growing up in the last two decades of Apartheid will deepen and inform your being, and your writing until you reach the end. Look forward to reading more of your words, my friend.

      • Hi Charlie! Yes you can email me now and then by all means! If your son wants to connect with me my twitter handle is salamander333 and my one page WEBPAGE is http://about.me/donbeukes which will have all my social links. Thanks for your kind words and I’m looking forward to learning more of your background! God bless take care!

  1. “I am a working man behind on his payments.
    Loans taken out in another life eat my liver like a crow.
    I can’t afford these words I am saying.
    Can’t afford the assurance of men who walk in straight lines
    or of those who follow their own desires
    toward imagined pleasure or pain.”

    this I can surely relate to 🙂

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